Life Is Not A Snapshot

Yesterday was just one of those days for me. I really struggled throughout the day and there wasn't really anything specific that happened it was just "blah". I was feeling alone, overwhelmed being the only parent, frustrated, and had a terrible headache. After 4 days straight of receiving letters from Abel and a 15 minute phone call on Sunday night you would think I would have been on a high, but it was almost like when you have a sugar rush and then you hit that really miserable low. Yep, that's what it was.

As I prepared Karina for bed, I could feel the tears coming and as we laid down in her bed to pray, I lost it. And Karina in her sweet little voice said, "mama, just think good things about daddy and you'll be ok". She is such a gift to me during this time, God knows I couldn't have gone through this without her :) So I pulled myself together and finished praying and put her to bed. I went to bed at 9:45, which I NEVER do these days...it's usually midnight or well after by the time I go to bed, but I couldn't sleep so I went and got my devotional book and it was all about God being near to the brokenhearted, and not only is He near, He is here. Well, that was all I needed to hear, and everything else just drifted away. I also had the words of a song running through my head:

"would you dare, would dare to believe,
that you've still got a reason to sing,
cause the pain that you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming
so hold on you gotta wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain that you've been feeling
it's just the dark before the morning"

I absolutely do have a reason to sing, and as I read Psalm 42 verse 8 literally jumped off the page at me: "Through each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me, and through each night I sing his songs, praying to the God who gives me life."

Today, I just felt joy. Joy that no one except my loving, heavenly Father could give me. I may feel discouraged and lonely and frustrated at times, and I think we all do, but you can still have joy because Joy that the Father gives is not just an outward expression of feeling, but it is and inward state of being.

I was also given a gift today that added to my joy, more pictures of my incredible man.


Love, love, love this smile!!

Here he's on the practice shooting range, preparing to qualify for the next level

Ok, now this one just makes me laugh, part of me wonders, was it a fluke that he happened to be "itching" his nose, but my gut, says, uh NO! If you know Abel you'll agree with me that this was totally on purpose!!

So with the title of this post being "Life is not a snapshot", there's another verse in the song I mentioned, which by the way is Josh Wilson, Before the Morning, and I've got it on my play list here on my blog, so you can click on it to hear the whole song. But anyways another part of that song is:

"My friend, you know how this all ends
and you know where you're going,
you just don't know how you get there
so just say a prayer.
and hold on, cause there's good for those who love God,
life is not a snapshot, it might take a little time,
but you'll see the bigger picture"

And as I look at the pictures that I've posted of Abel at Basic, I realize that even though these are "snapshots" of his life right now, there is definitely a bigger picture, which God is revealing, ONE SNAPSHOT AT A TIME.

If you are experiencing a hard time in your life, just know that it's just "the dark before the morning". May you experience His Joy, unspeakable, FULL of His glory today.

Have a great day everyone!

Time Out For Mommy!

Well, this past weekend I gave myself a time out! This time not for being bad :) I had the incredible opportunity to attend a conference for moms called Hearts at Home in Bloomington, IL. A group of us girls went on Friday and Saturday, and just had an absolutely fabulous, fun time getting away and finding rest and refreshment, and inspiration as wives and mothers. The days consisted of a morning main session, then 4 workshops and then an evening session. On Friday morning, the in the very first main session, we had the privilege of hearing Jennifer Rothschild speak. She has an incredible story, going blind at age 15, she was able to grow up, get married and successfully raise 2 boys. (If you'd like to read more of her story, her website is www.jenniferrothschild.com) The 2 main themes in her message were "walking by faith and not by sight" and "even though it is not well with my circumstances, it is well with my soul".

Now, just to back it up a little bit. On Thursday last week right before I left to go my parents house the night before the conference, I got 2 letters from Abel in the mail and as I'm reading them, my heart is just breaking for him, at this point he still hasn't gotten any of my letters yet, he's so frustrated with his platoon because they're all just a bunch of boneheads, making everyone get in trouble all the time, he's even thinking about asking if he can get transferred to another platoon and still hasn't gotten to talk to a Chaplain yet. But in the same token, he is also talking about how he knows that his life's purpose right now is to be exactly where he's at and that God wouldn't have brought him this far to abandon him now. At this point though I start to feel the heaviness he's feeling. So I quickly finish packing my things into the car and start to head south. The whole hour and a half drive I'm just crying and praying for him for God to give him favor and and to reward all his hard work and just asking to give him strength and to protect him. So I arrive at my parents house and I knew the question was coming, "have you heard from Abel?" And I knew once the question came, so would the tears. And they did. Lots of them.

So the next morning, very early in the morning, 6am early :) , we left for the conference and I went with a heavy heart. And then here comes Jennifer Rothschild with her message. Here I am, totally walking by faith right now, not by sight. I am walking in faith that God has got my back during this time that I cannot physically see or talk to my husband at this point in time. And I am walking by faith that God is gonna provide EVERY single need that I have. And He does. Also here I am in the midst of my husband going through all these feelings, and me bearing this burden with him, it is definitely not well with my circumstances, BUT it is well with my soul. I've spoken before about the peace that I have and it is still there, sometimes I just need a reminder (aka a kick in the pants!). SO, here I am sitting there listening to Jennifer, with tears streaming down my face, mascara completely gone, eyes puffy, AND it's only 9:00 in the morning, first session. Boy do I have a long day ahead of me!! Haha :) BUT I know, it is well with my soul.

So, fast forward through the day, all the workshops were so great, and then we had dinner and then did a little shopping in the exhibit hall and all of a sudden I feel my phone in my pocket buzzing (which I have on me 24/7) and it's not stopping, which means there's a phone call coming in. I pull it out and see that 803 area code and KNOW it's Abel. My heart skipped about 5 beats I think as I answer the phone and I don't know how loud I was but I yelled, BABY!!!!!!! All my anxiety melted away just getting to hear his voice (1st time in 2 weeks!) and as we talked he began to tell me how everything was so much better, that their platoon was working together now and it was all becoming so much better. He also had received 5 of my letters and said that it just helped him so much. Also the best news he gave me was that he himself had also been praying for God to give him opportunities and to give him favor and look what happened, he was made Platoon Leader! I don't know what all that means, but I don't care, I just know God is faithful! :) So our conversation lasted all of 8 precious minutes, but it seemed like 28 minutes just getting to hear his voice. I ended that conversation and walked away with such a peace and a calm...mind you I was crying like a baby...again! One woman even walked up to me with such sweetness and said, "are you ok??" I explained and she gave me a warm hug :) But God just reminded me again and again during the weekend how faithful He is if we will just surrender our control to Him and let Him do His work in HIS timing. And allow our souls to find calm and rest in Him even when our circumstances dictate otherwise.

Monday when I returned home I had 2 more letters in the mail waiting for me and they just reiterated how great he is doing now. My heart was happy.

Also this week a short video was posted on FB from his unit and some of the things they have done so far and what do you know, I got to see my man in action! In my previous post I talked about how he did Victory Tower and in the video it shows him repelling down the Tower. You'll see him around the 50 second mark where it's labeled "Victory Tower", he's the first one! You can click here for the video :) http://www.vimeo.com/21030826

Thanks for stopping in again, I wish each of you a great day!

Jackpot, Twice In One Week! :)

Is it possible to hit the jackpot twice in one week? Well my friend yes, it is! I was about to bust out of my skin today when I found these pictures of Abel on one of his unit's Facebook Pages. I was brought to tears to see my sweet husband as I've never seen him before! Enjoy the pictures!


Here he is, back row, on the right
On Facebook this picture was in the photo album, "Gas Chamber" so I'm thinking they had just come out of the gas chamber and were pumped that they made it! :)

Here he is running his little heart out! (On the left)


In this one he's in the top row, all the way to the right, 2nd from the end


You might be wondering, "why did you take this picture, and where is Abel?" Well, anyone who knows Abel knows that he likes to get in any picture that he can and if you look in the top left corner of this picture, you will see half of his face. I knew it was him just by the expression on his face! Made me laugh!!!!

Jackpot!

So, I felt like I hit the jackpot yesterday! I got two letters in the mail from Abel yesterday. One envelope had 3 letters and the other had 1. I have never in my life looked forward to getting the mail each day than I do now! I definitely took for granted the convenience we have in technology, not anymore!!

Overall he is doing well, but he said it is very tough mentally. In this phase, they try do discourage them and "tear them down so they can build them up the Army way". Not exactly fun, but what are you gonna do, right? :)

In one of the letters he was telling me that most of the guys in his platoon are young guys that basically have no respect for authority and they are constantly getting "smoked" meaning they're getting in trouble and they make them do a ton of push ups or other physical stuff, not letting them shower, etc. He said there are a couple of older guys like him in his platoon and he said they all understand each other and try to stick together but are all feeling the same way about these young kids, because they all get in trouble as a platoon. He said he was having a really hard time with this at first, but he said one day something just clicked in his heart and he is pushing through it and keeping his focus.

He said he likes his Drill Sergeants and actually likes Basic Training, except for what I explained above...one of the days they did Victory Tower which he said he LOVED! He was a little nervous about this because he's kinda scared of heights, but he said "it was sooooo fun!" Basically they have to scale up one side of this really tall tower and then repel down the other side. He also said they got their M16's (their own gun) and are learning all about them and that this week they'll get to go use them, he said "I can't wait!" :) He also said that they've done obstacle courses and some combat survival classes but said it wasn't very interesting. :) He said he can't wait to get out of this phase that they're in the "Red Phase", so he can move on and do what he came to do! So proud of him!!


So please be praying for him:
1. For the guys in his platoon, that they would get their act together!!!!!!!
2. For his mind that it would stay sharp and that he could keep his focus on his goals
3. For his strength, health protection and stamina
4. For his feet, literally. He said his feet are killing him, trying to break into his boots.

Address!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, I got the standard Army welcome letter today. It had Abel's address and the graduation dates confirmed for May 5th woooooo hoooooo!!! The letter was just the standard, but our names and the graduations dates were written by him and my heart skipped a beat just seeing his handwriting on the page :)

So if you'd like to write to Abel, here's exactly how you need to address the envelope:

SPC Vargas, Abel F
Delta Co., 2-39th Infantry Regiment
4th Platoon (Head Hunters)
10400 Hampton Pkw
Ft. Jackson, SC 29207-6820

Also it said that his platoon color is BLUE so when you're addressing the envelope please write the address in BLUE and then on the back of the envelope write a big "4" also in BLUE. This helps them to sort the mail faster.

I know he'd love to get any mail, even if it's just a short note that says we're thinking about you :)

Peace In The Waiting

Waiting...that's what I'm doing, waiting, wondering. When will I get that next phone call, the first letter. Why is waiting so hard?!
It's been a little over a week since Abel left for Basic and though I think I've experienced a roller coaster of emotions, I feel peace in the waiting. I have to honestly say I would never be able to go through this time without Jesus on my side. I cannot tell you the immense peace I have felt. Never in my life have I had this peace.

John 14:27, "I am leaving you with a gift - peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give you isn't like the peace the world gives. So don't be troubled or afraid."

Peace that the world gives, what does that mean? Usually when the world defines peace, it means the absence of conflict. I looked up the word "peace" in Merriam-Webster's dictionary, and two of my favorite definitions that it gave were:
1. A state of tranquility or quiet.
2. Freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions.

Jesus never promised us a life without conflict, but in the midst of all of that, he gives us peace, i.e. tranquility, quiet and freedom. And true peace isn't found in "positive thinking" or in good feelings, it comes from KNOWING that God is in control.

Philippians 4:6,7 says, "Don't WORRY about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

I've started to connect with a lot of people on Facebook who also have loved ones at Ft. Jackson right now in Basic and the bottom line in so many people's posts seems to be worry. Understandably so. Many of them have very young sons and daughters who have never been away from home. Many of them have husbands or wives who this is the first time being apart (ME!), but I just pray that I can be an encouragement to those people and point them to the Ultimate Peace Giver!

So as I think of my husband today, I pray PEACE over him. Not the peace that the world gives, but the peace, tranquility and freedom that comes from knowing God is in control. God is in control of his loneliness, his fears, his tiredness and fatigue, his pain, his weakness. And God is also in control of his peace.

If you think about Abel today, please just say a quick prayer for him, I know he can feel every on of them!

Let The Journey Begin...

Well, friends, our journey has begun. Abel is officially in Basic Training and we are a military family!
When the new year arrived, I thought, wow, ok we've got 9 weeks before he has to leave, that's a good amount of time and then, it felt like I had only closed my eyes for a second, and it was already time for him to leave. Over the past month, we really tried to do as much as we could together, knowing soon it would just be Karina and I. We made the most of every moment we had together and felt our love for each other grow so much stronger. We did lots of simple things together, but we also did a few special things.


We went to see Toy Story 3, Disney on Ice
COTTON CANDY!!!! Yummmmmm!!!

Mezmerized :)

Of course Woody & Jessie had to come :)

And frozen yogurt afterwards...so good!

Then another special thing we did was we went to Build-A-Bear and got a special bear for Karina. They have an army bear, complete with his little uniform, just like daddy's. So we got this for Karina so that each night when we pray for daddy she can give it a hug and and a kiss and daddy will feel her hugs and kisses.
She named him Fuzzy :)

The day he had to leave, he had to report to the Army hotel by 6pm and then he could check out and spend some time with us before we had to leave him. We spent the day together and went out to lunch with his sister and brother in law and their daughter...


And this was our last photo together, moments before we had to say goodbye...

That was an extremely, extremely hard moment in my life. Saying goodbye to my best friend, the man I have shared 14 years of my life with, and have never been apart from for more than a week at a time. Having said that, it was also the most peaceful time of my life. I have never felt more peace in my life than I do right now. Yes he'll be gone for 4 months, yes, it is hard being away from him and yes it is going to be hard being the only parent right now, BUT the reward at the end will be more than worth it.

So, he arrived at Ft. Jackson on Tuesday night around 8 pm along with buses full of other recruits, and had to go through security and didn't arrive at their station until about 2 am. They had to be up by 4am. This whole week was spent in Reception, where they went through medical, dental and vision exams, given shots, haircuts, uniforms, boots, paperwork, etc...He was able to keep his cell phone with him throughout the week of reception but had to turn it in today when he arrived at Basic, they are supposed to call on Sunday to let us know they arrived, and then after that, phone calls will most likely be few and far between.

The first day he was extremely tired having not slept hardly at all, but I could hear the excitement in his voice as he just wanted to "get on with it" :)

While he was in Reception this week, the Head Drill Sergeant that they had turned out to be a very vocal Christian. During one of their formations, he told them this, "you are here for a reason. God brought you here to do something great. It was not a coincidence that you're here. Some people and even your family asked why you are doing this, but they don't realize that God has a great plan for you. When you're out on the course and you feel like you can't go on, ask for His help!" Abel said you never hear him cussing like most of the other Drill Sergeants do and he told them all that that was the reason why, because he has God in his life. Even though Abel will not have constant interaction with this Drill Sergeant, he told all the guys that anytime they feel like they need to talk to someone or need someone to pray with to just let their Drill Sergeant know and he would be happy to do it. Wow! I just thought that was so awesome!

Here's my Soldier! So proud of you babe!!

His dog tags (I had to blur out the middle cause his SS# was on there!) :)


So now, it begins for him...

Weeks 1-3: Red Phase

Soldiers meet their Drill Sergeants and begin training. While often considered a difficult week for Soldiers due to the adjustments, it is actually pretty easy compared to later weeks. Most classroom-type training occurs in this period where Soldiers learn about:

• Ballistics and Rifle Marksmanship Fundamentals
• Personal financial management
• Law of Land Warfare
• Uniform Code of Military Justice (Military Law)
• Dismounted Land Navigation (using a map and compass)
• Fundamentals of Physical Readiness
• Nutrition
• Rappelling and navigating rope bridges
• Drill and Ceremonies (marching)
• Nuclear, Biological, and Chemical (NBC) Defense (often referred to as the Gas Chamber)
• Fieldcraft
• Patrolling

I'll keep updating as much as I can. He's supposed to call me tomorrow with his address so if anyone is interested in sending him letters or cards, I'll post the address as soon as I get it. I've heard from SO MANY people who have gone through this, that for them to get something in the mail is like they've struck gold :)


Please keep us in your prayers :)

Carla