Traditions? What Traditions?

So the presents are opened, toys are scattered around, bits of wrapping paper still appearing out of nowhere, tree is still up, but Christmas day is done, traditions were carried out...or were they?

Earlier this fall, even before Thanksgiving had come upon us, I started thinking about Christmas, and all the significance, joy, wonder, beauty, fun, family, candy (yes!!!) and everything else that comes along with the season, yet I was very bothered and frustrated about one thing. Traditions. What were ours and why couldn't I think of one single tradition we carried out. Now, I KNOW of many traditions, yet if someone asked me, there was not one that I could say, "we do _____ every year at Christmas". We've been married 10 years and have a 4 year old, you would have thought I would have figured it out by now! (But after a conversation with my mom and sister 2 days before Christmas, things all made sense...keep reading down below)

Well, time went on and Thanksgiving passed, still feeling like even then we didn't have any traditions, and then during the first week of December, I attended my MOPS group (Mothers of Preschoolers) and the speaker we had that day, was all about...say it with me...TRADITIONS! Coincidence?? I think not! Not only was it about bringing traditions into your family but bringing back PERSPECTIVE to Christmas, WHO it's really all about, and simplifying the holidays. It feels strange to say, but I really felt like a burden had been lifted off of my shoulders and like everything started to become clear. I certainly can't explain things like she did, but she shared with us that by passing on traditions to our children, it makes them feel safe, loved and knowing their place and role in their family. Things that may seem silly when they're children, they'll want and expect when they're adults.

Some of the things she shared were fun and simple things to do, and some really held the significance of why we do what we do at Christmas.

Here are some of the things she mentioned that we started:

1. New jammies on Christmas Eve (fun!)
2. Milk and cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve (fun!) Now I know for some of you, you don't do Santa, and honestly, we don't promote it either and it doesn't over-shadow our Christmas, its just kind of something that happened, but it is fun and Karina definitely knows what Christmas is about (more to come about that in a bit)

3. Get a Nativity Set Devotional. The lady that spoke at our MOPS group that day explained how she loves to decorate for every season and of course at Christmas she put out her Nativity Set and she stopped one day and stared at the scene set out before her and wondered, do my children know the difference between this "decoration" and the significance it holds as compared to all my other decorations throughout the year? So God gave her the idea to write a devotional to go along with all the pieces of the Nativity, and instead of putting it out all at one time, each piece, (the angel, the shepherd, the donkey, sheep, etc..) gets put out one at a time and has a story/devotional to go along with it, and eventually building up the anticipation to the ONE who it's all about...Jesus! So, I bought the Nativity Set and Devotional to go along with it and we started it on December 1st and did it every other day all the way up to Christmas (you can do it that way or start it on December 13 and do every day). Karina (and Abel and I) absolutely loved this. She was so excited who would get to come out next, and hear the story of the character she would ask me EVERY day, "do we get to read the story tonight??" We also read the Christmas story in the Bible ever y time we did the devotional, just so that she would know the story and not just hear it one time on Christmas. By the time the week of Christmas rolled around, she could tell you the story if you asked her, and also when I would read the story, I'd leave out words to see if she was listening and knew what they were and she definitely did! I also heard her in her room yesterday playing out the manger scene with her little dolls and animals, and she had it all right! I stood there, with her not knowing I was listening in, my heart swelling as this precious child knew who this Jesus is and the real reason we celebrate this season.

4. Birthday Cake - It's Jesus' Birthday so we made a Happy Birthday Jesus cake!

Another area she talked about was gifts. She stressed, "Be Free From The List!!!" Something they have implemented is that they get their children 3 main gifts, coinciding with the 3 gifts that Jesus received at his birth, gold, frankincense and myrrh. We tried this with Karina this year and it was a little hard for her 4 year old mind to completely grasp the concept, but I wanted to start it now. If your kids are old enough, ask them to make their list according to the following:

Gold - it represented something very valuable. For your kids this represents something that they REALLY want, something they consider valuable. For Karina it was a little piano. She has been talking about a little piano for a long time and every time you asked her what she wanted for Christmas, it was this little piano.

Frankincense - it represented something about who Jesus would become. For your kids, it represents something that will help them grow spiritually. For example, it could be a Bible, or a CD that they like, or a movie that helps them learn important life lessons, etc. Karina wasn't really sure what she wanted in that category, so we're planning on going to www.adventconspiracy.org and getting a gift card that donates clean water to people all over the world, you can choose the project you want to donate to and then you can follow that project and see who's getting the water. I highly recommend visiting this website.

Myrrh - it represented a gift for Jesus' body (it was used for embalming). For your kids, this also represents something for their body. For Karina this year it was the jammies, but it could be anything from clothes, shoes, slippers, lotions, perfumes, etc...

Now, does this mean that your kids ONLY get 3 gifts??? Absolutely not! But it does mean that you can be free from getting your kids useless junk that will most likely go on the garage sale next summer, and it helps you to get your children, meaningful, thought-out gifts that represents your relationship with them. So ask your kids to make a list according to the 3 gift above and then anything else you get them is just bonus for them and you never have to worry if you got them "enough".

Sooooooo....back to the conversation with my mom and my sister that made it all make sense. Two days before Christmas, my brother in law asked my mom and dad what their favorite memories of Christmas were as kids and neither one of them could really answer the question, because, they really didn't have any. (I honestly don't have too many either unless I look at pictures and it kind of jogs my memory) As we talked more, we came to the realization that since both my parents come from a very conservative background, where they lived a much simpler life, no tv, probably no radio, basically where the ways of the world were very much discouraged. Christmas for them was not really as we know it today. Obviously there was not the commercialization of Christmas back then as it is today. So for my mom and dad growing up, for the most part Christmas was just another day where they had a big meal sometimes with aunts, uncles and cousins, and no one went to work. I don't think that it's not that they didn't "celebrate" Christmas, it's that their way of expressing it was not in the area of gift giving, or celebration like we know today. So anyways, since there really were no traditions being had during their growing-up years, why wouldn't it make sense that there were none to pass down to us? (Now, please understand me, I sincerely mean it when I say I hold no regret or grudge to anyone in my family, grandparents or parents, nor do I wish my childhood any different, it was wonderful and FULL of memories. God specifically puts us into the family we are born into for a specific purpose in life, so I believe it's our response to that which determines what we decide to do with our own families.)
So it all kind of came together for me, meaning that we've had to confront some emotions that are not so easy, BUT I'm already so excited for Christmas next year because, Traditions are to be had!!!!!

I sincerely hope that each one of you had a wonderful Christmas and continue your celebrations into the new year with blessing, favor and happiness, whatever may come your way...I'll let you know what's coming our way in the next post! Stay tuned!

P.S. I'd love to know what some of your traditions are, please leave a comment on this post or on facebook...I need more ideas!!! :)

Tea For Two

We all have one. We've carried it around for years. Neglected. Ignored. Haunting us. Yes, it is that one (or maybe more than one) box that you've had since you've been married that has never been unpacked, sitting there unused, yet you refuse to get rid of it, because "maybe someday I'll use it". Well, 'tis the case of the unused tea set for me. This particular tea set has been with us now for 10 years, through 8 moves, has been on 4 garage sales (it won't sell), and yet it still remains in the box, unused. "Someday, when I have a big enough house, I'll display it, someday" I said. I finally decided I'd give it to Goodwill...someday.

Someday has not yet arrived, and I am so happy it has not, because today that was all made history, the tea set came out of the box! I have recently been focusing on what my priorities in life are, and really doing a mindset shift of sorts and deciding what really matters in life. Does it matter that I have a cute little tea set still in perfect condition in the box, never being used? NO! Does it matter that I have decided to set aside a time each week to have a tea party, with this tea set and my precious little girl, and not care if the tea set gets ever broken? YES!

Today I told Karina we were going to have a tea party today and she said, "oh with my little play tea set?" "No," I said, "with mama's tea set, you know the one I have it the garage?" Her face lit up with excitement and she couldn't wait to get the tea set out of the box. I taught her how to pour the tea and hold the cup, although it practically covered her face, but she was thrilled to be having tea with mama. All too soon, this little girl is going to be into clothes and friends and I'll wonder, "will she still want to have tea parties with mama?" (I swear I've only blinked one time and she's already almost 5.)

Also in refocusing my priorities, I know I've been carrying around "boxes" for a long time, waiting to be opened up and used. I've known for a long time that they're there, neglected, ignored, unused. Sometimes, I've felt like they'd be better off given to "goodwill" better used by someone else. Well, I think some of my "boxes" are about to be opened (to come in a later post) and I am very excited. My Heavenly Father wants to have a tea party with me and I still want to too.